jonny911

They are what are called brothers This is the only typo I see in your play. Who would say this? I don't know! I'd assume people know what brothers are! ...

O.K., it looks like you need a lot of help. First of all, you really shouldn't post a story one paragaph long. There isn't near enough detail for people to ...

I like it! I see flaws in a story revolving around this, though. All powers and no limits to them Assuming one of these is in your story, couldn't they ...

It's good writing, I must say. But all the swares and insults to religion are driving off a lot of people who might want to read your story. If your ...

Ok. It's a good prologue, if a little on the short side. The first paragraph seemed a little cheesy to me. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's ...

Yay again! I like this idea a lot. Anybody have some notecards I can borrow?

8/10 Interesting, but nothing really pops

Just a note: a lot of the parts in this chapter are sort of meant to be misunderstood, especially where they are and who they are. It's kind of hard ...

The link didn't work for me )-:

6/10 A little too long, and I'm confused on what it's supposed to mean

Great idea! I just started a huge project but I'll check back from time to time to see if anyone needs help. Good job*claps and yells till i go horse*!

Prologue A heavy man walked into the room. He felt a strange sensation and ignored it. He was flanked by two guards; both silent and attentive. The man stumbled to ...

Did you double post this story? I reviewed it yesterday. By the way, you should only post one piece of writing a day. It's just polite to not flood the ...

But they get discovered on their family vacation to...

Thanks for the help! I'm going to work on a prologue soon (I should be working right now). I thought up a few more characters today (which I'll post if ...