jayleighsmith

I very much enjoyed reading these two short passages. There are a few things I suggest: In this passage, you just jump straight into this scene. I was very much ...

Pink! YAY! I love this chapter. It moved things along well, and was very well written. There were a few typos that I saw. Yesterday, she part of this normal ...

Alrighty, I'm here Cassie. Okay. Well as someone previously stated, poems are written in lines. That may have been just from the way you posted it in here, but it ...

Kikaharu. I'm Jayleigh. Now we are done with introductions...let use begin. The blood spilled into the monster’s mouth. Monster? What? Maybe add in some describing or something. Just...the monster?

Well hello, Lia. I'm Jayleigh. I read this short story a few days ago but had not the time to write a proper review. However, I managed to find time. ...

Alright, Pink. Here at last! I've been itchy to talk to you about this...but haven't found the time. Really, I am sorry for that. It won't happen again. But thanks ...

(I suggest going back and reading my changes. I have fully taken out the previous chapters four and five and set them aside for now, taking only what I need. ...

Hello, Jayleigh here. Since previously, someone posted nitpickys and the only things I found were simple grammar mistakes that you could probably find yourself. But I wanted to tell you ...

Hello Emmy! I'm Jayleigh and I'm here to review. the newest film called A Dark Secret. Titles are either italicised or underlined. My nose twitched as I began to speak, ...

Well, hello, Pink! I see that you do not have many nit picky reviews. I'm here to help with that. Well that’s what she looked like anyway. Comma after well. ...

:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 That's great. Punching a moose. My close friend just got a car and we had a huge plan this afternoon and she was going to take me ...

Hey Pink. Sorry if this review is not as in depth as my previous one. I just simply do not have the time to go line by line with you. ...

Alrighty, here at last. Ha. Off I go… The battery was missing. “Ha, I'm such an idiot”, I snickered. “How did I miss that?” *Bursts out laughing* Okay okay, this ...

Alright, Pink. Here finally, as promised. Off I go… Strange Boy Laelia seemed too hot here. You switched tenses here. Seemed=past. Here=present. It doesn’t flow well. [She sat with 19-year] ...

EDITED! I suggest you go back and read many of my changes. I have taken out the previous chapter four and five and put them aside for now. They are ...