jayleighsmith

Oh. I love this. Girl power! Haha. There were a few mistakes that I saw. Like you said warp instead of wrap. begin instead of begins. you switched to third ...

Twelve The next day in Psychology, Warren had a hard time sitting forward in his seat. Several times, our teacher would call on him for an answer or his opinion ...

Alright. Really sorry bout my delay. I have been very busy. Senior research paper and all. anywho. onto your review. This chapter was very intense, but I feel as though ...

Thanks Pink! I'll be adding more laters, I've already doubled this. So check up on it later.

This is something that just popped in my head and may cause me to take a short break from Breena. Sad, I know. What do you think so far? Is ...

There is nothing wrong with a little length, Pink. I loved this chapter. It was so intense. Prova! I can't wait to read more. As for nitpicks..I have none. I ...

Eleven After school, I started heading in the direction of our car when someone touched my back. I jumped and yelped at the random act. My hand flew up to ...

Ah. I see Pink has been here before me. She's quick with those reviews. Anywho, onto mine. Your MC, Aya, seems to be an obsessive person. Am I right? It ...

(Oh my. I forgot to tell everyone. I am considering taking out the mother's engagment and putting it in somewhere else. It is too soon. Wouldn't you agree? So. Read ...

Oh my! The son of Dracula? How does that even happen? haha. Keep that in mind in the future. I don't really have the energy to do one of my ...

"Of course I do , Rachel , Should be period I do love you , Another period " he Capital H a small kiss on the cheek was all though ...

Nine “My queen,” the glowing boy says in a low monotone. He holds out his hand and bends at the waist in a bow. I raise my hand and he ...

Well, you're supposed to think that Corrigan is the person from the dream that the fairy girl was talking about. He isn't going to say, "I was sent here to ...

uhm. What? Confusing you about what? How am I to know what to 'explain' if you didn't tell me?

This part, I think you need to work more on transitions. Right now, it seems as if you are just stating facts and not actually flowin through a story. And ...