jakfelix

We spent days running the beach, poking about rock-pools and smashing limpets off the salt bleached rocks. But the greatest thing about that pebbly strand was the tall mudstone cliff ...

Hello. I don't think this makes sense. it's quite lazily constructed as a story using a thin metaphor to disguise the fact it doesn't work. Why wouldn't he realise that ...

Stanley Yates and I sit on a park bench looking out across the city. It’s that hollow part of the morning that fills the crack between night and day like ...

Hi, I think that the french is unnecessary. There is nothing obvious in the poem which makes its use meaningful or relevant except for the romantic element, which may be ...

it's about a man who loses a tooth and gets a gold one to replace it. Should i make this clearer? i thought it was easily understood, but then again ...

He plugged the gap with gold Alabasters no prize. He stopped the hole in his grin And the glimpsed pink tongue and sticky throat And the unthought whistle That made ...

thanks for the reviews

Thanks for the review lena. I think on the language we came up with some anglo-american language problems. Rooted means to dig around. Alright is one word. throwing a strop ...

The room was massive and dark. Huge, windowless, concrete walls rose up endlessly and uninterrupted and the few lights that were dotted around the room seemed to only to intensify ...

Hi lena. I'm sorry if i was rude earlier and hope i didn't cause any real offence. I think this is a good start. I agree that the sentences are ...

Hello Saraneth. I think you could work on on the rhythm of this poem. When somethings written in this couplet style the beat of the syllables drives it and this ...

Hi Mo. Firstly i'd like to say i think this is a really nice little piece. The grammatical errors seem to have been mostly covered so i'll just tell you ...

hello lena. Skipping narrative in favour of just reading dialogue and action seems to me an immature way of approaching literature, however I'm new to this and understand that more ...

Could only I see Anna for what she was? Either this was true or others ignored her imperfection. In the final days I spent watching Anna I studied her completely. ...