irnbru666

Well the words are inspirational, and it sounds good. But the word "playdough" is kind of contradictory in this style. It's almost as if it's too silly of a word ...

I liked this piece, I can see where you were coming from and, as alot of girls would, know those feelings. I'd love if it this piece was extended, so ...

I think this story could be elongated by changing the approach, perhaps inserting a kind of lead up of events to being hit by car, because all the drama is ...

I'm writing a critical essay on Chocolat by Joanne Harris. I've been asked to choose a novel in which a character appears to change, outline the nature of the change ...

I am immersed in the sterile stench of this place. I wish I wasn’t here. I wish I didn’t have to be. The noisy rush continues around my solemn stillness ...

In reply to Trixy's message, Carol Ann Duffy is a lesbian, and her Before You Were Mine poem is about her mother, before she was a mother. The author takes ...

It’s been a couple of weeks now, I probably should, she thought, settling her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat, as they watched a film, intertwined. She ...

:lol:

She’s like a slice of chocolate cake – I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help looking. I gaze as her hand rolls across the page, her pen spilling out ...

Overall, for me, what has been flagged up is that I must, must must make things more obvious and consider my poor confused audience :( The daughter was supposed to ...

I think this piece has alot of potential. In a short story, to me, the first lines are where you capture your audience and pull them in, and although your ...

Thanks alot for the critique on my Bridget piece :D I appreciate that you pointed out all my grammatical errors because I wouldn't have noticed them, and I know I ...

"Then again, he had dated Rebecca." I like how this sentence is brought out on its own, it makes it look like a bold statement, which it is. Joy compares ...

Overall I love how you've portayed that typical kind of brotherly rivalry at the beginning and throughout the story, and at the end brought in the dramatic part where Ralph ...

--------------------- I've only got so far with this but I don't have a feel for where I should take it or end it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated --------------------- ...