ireylcadence

Kaylee seems like a very lovable character--a little Pippilongstocking-esque? It's great that you were able to do that within the first chapter, since now I do want to follow her ...

Welcome to YWS. :) The poem needs some work in terms of flow. It tends to get a bit too wordy. For example: Letters in my mailbox is the only ...

May I just suggest that you don't type your poem in neon pink? It makes it rather hard to concentrate. ;) The poem itself is very sweet. I'm sure whomever ...

Very elegant. I loved it entirely. Best part was that not only was it full of emotion and flowed, which is all that lyrics actually require, but it was also ...

Cain I had done all I could. And so now I finally surrendered myself, psychologically, because physically they had defeated me long before. The metal creature seemed to sense the ...

Cain Perhaps it had been better when I had been unconscious and didn't know what they were doing to me. Being fully aware that you are powerless over anything that ...

Plot twist time, tell me if there are any objections. ;) Cain I was not sure if I was awake yet. I felt my eyes open, yet I could not ...

Cain I guess I must have fallen asleep in Lakisha's lap, because next thing I knew, I was stumbling out of the van with the others into some brightly lit ...

Cain The baby-faced girl came in screaming. I wasn't surprised. She was small, but even if she was ten or eleven, it was still way too old to be playing ...

Name: Cain LeFevre Gender: male Age (15-18): 18 Personality: He lives for pleasure and takes nothing at all seriously. He seems to have no emotions whatsoever, and does not have ...

Character: mortal boy Name: Ivan Kerinski Age: (15-18) 17 Appearance: Hobbies: science, school, trying to invent things Likes: thinking, bad jokes Hates: when people don't think, being overly physical

I hope you don't really feel like that. *hug* Welcome to YWS, by the way! Some points in punctuation and such--proofread! Also, I would probably split the poem into stanzas. ...

Kara, do we need a Stella? *hopefulface* 0:D If not, could I still make another character? Declan seems kind of lonely. ;)

You are absolutely clueless To the pain you have caused me. This love is just a virus You're the deadly disease. While I like the metaphor/simile, these two lines don't ...

Haha, I could pretend to be sagaciously deep and try to analyze the hidden meanings behind every syllable, but I have to say that ScottieRAWR is just about right. But ...