ireylcadence

Hi. Nice, descriptive poem you've got here. The imagery is great, but I feel like your sentence structure, especially in the beginning, is a bit choppy. Maybe try and vary ...

It's a nice idea, but I think this can be developed way more. You need a background, and you need more description and imagery. It is a bit too confusing ...

I'm not sure if you meant for us to pause at the end of the line breaks because if so, at some places, I think they were unnecessary. Por ejemplo: ...

Her hand cups reverent the ivory piece Its shadow large above the board Where looms her haloed knight gallant Castle for protection And she poises for attack. He lets his ...

I like the "broken heart syndrome", though as Snoink mentioned, it's a rather cliched way to approach the topic. Still, I think naming the "disease" is a nice creative twist. ...

This isn't how I write anymore, but I was wondering if my old angsty style would be better recieved. It's a bit creepy, now that I read it. when our ...

Thanks for the critiques! Bubblewrapped, I agree, now that I look back on it, I feel like there should be at least one more stanza between the first and the ...

Definitely like the structure here. The lines flow well, and it's very readable. The poem seems a bit too blunt though. You are telling, not showing. Perhaps that was your ...

It doesn't have to rhyme. However, poems do need to have a rhythm in order to distinguish it from prose. Right now, it's kind of hard to find the flow ...

A non-cliche approach to love. Congratulations :) I like this very much, the style, the writing technique, the imagery, all of it. No criticism for you.

I spy an everlasting game of strife, An endless, vindictive race of life Chasing in circles of hope as we Pray for a freedom we fear to meet. Now I, ...

Sorry, it's been a while, but SAT 2's are coming up and I've been studying like hell. Cain The world looked grainy when I opened my eyes again. "Cain, come ...

Cain In a room with the Eli girl. My body, surprisingly, did not resist when she put me in and closed the door behind us. She gave me a searching ...

Cain God, they had done it. They had actually managed to burst us out. I was willing to let down whatever pretense of pride I had left and actually thank ...

Sounds fun. :) Name: Queen of Hearts Age: 34 Appearance: Short, plump, dressed rather matronly for a Queen Picture: Personality: Prevalent Napoleon-complex. Diabolical, and just slightly ditsy. Enjoys