innerbeauty555

The little secrets seemed so big to us, And playing with dolls didn't seem so dumb, But all that was before your senseless fuss, Before reality became so numb. Remember ...

This was not so good. You need more detail. As xanthan gum said, 'tis "weird", not "wierd". This wasn't very good formatting, either. Try a new line every sentence, every ...

I liked the beginning. It was light like this poem is supposed to be, or so it seems. I agree "guy" wasn't the right word in that line, either. You ...

I love chocolate... Good poem, by the way. :-D

Whoa. Amazing poem. I-I have no criticism. Wow.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I KILLED A HOTDOGIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW WILL I EVER LIVE WITH MYSELF? Hilarious, Liz. Hilarious. I don't like hot dogs that much anymore, anyway. Now I see why.

Last time I checked, "coulda" wasn't a word. Try "could of". Also, "To say “You’re sorry”" doesn't need the quotes around "You're sorry" and, therefore, doesn't need the capital in ...

Whoa. I really don't know what else to say. Whoa.

To be grammatically correct and have all the words spelled correctly, your poem would look like this (I know Writersdomain got some of them): My time is coming... I can't ...

I agree that the verse-chorus structure is the easiest to read, but that is my opinion. Sometimes, songs are OK when they don't have a chorus because then you don't ...

Look, Stop, Right there behind you. Can't you see you're not wanted here? An unwelcome stranger, Crossing the gate, You should've stayed on the safe side, But you couldn't wait. ...

I liked it. The wording was a little awkward at parts, but it was overall very good. Keep it up! :-) -*-*--Diana--*-*-

Again, you don't need the enlarged fonts at those certain points in your poem. Don't use chat abbreviations like "

This was a pretty good poem. Make sure you capitalize your I's, though. You also need an apostraphe in "sorrow's" in the last line, since you are using it in ...

Ooh, I like this. Your emotions are easy to relate to the way you present them. You don't need the big letters, though. Your poetry should be able to speak ...