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Re: Beckon.
Tiresome alliteration, meaningless names, and redundant repetition... You asked for it. :p For those reasons alone I'd suggest going back to the drawing board, so to speak. It's good that ...
Oct 19, 2011 -
Re: Poetry was here
Over- -Head This poem was intelligently rhythmic and had an oracular but human voice. The surreal imagery is the emotional underscore for me when I read it. One thing I ...
Oct 17, 2011 -
Re: Mother May I
Hey, dante. First I want to address some technical stuff. Your style is inconsistent. At parts you capitalize the first letter of a line, and at other parts you don't. ...
Oct 17, 2011 -
Re: Late Autumn
Hello mello! I enjoyed reading your poem because the pacing was just as if dog-walking and your descriptions were clear and transposing. I think some editing is in order, trim ...
Oct 17, 2011 -
Re: Quand à la Lune...
I started a French course this year but I'm not competent enough to give you a review worthy of the name. I would suggest dropping a link in the French ...
Oct 17, 2011 -
Re: Indefinite Blue
Unbroken sorrow swan-scattered in a dice-throw— you outlive yourself.
Oct 16, 2011 -
Re: Empty
Edited The air is a billowing thicket of acrylic heat, since no AC saves four-dollar-gasoline for jaydrivers in the zenith of their days, those days when driving left feels right— ...
Oct 15, 2011 -
Re: The Good Music Blog
Awesome, can't wait for next week. *follows*
Oct 15, 2011 -
Re: Oblong Houses
bumped so you might get another review :) On the swings kicking higher and higher, gazelle legs running into the sun and surf This image is fantastic. The lines' rhythm ...
Oct 12, 2011 -
Re: Oblong Houses
Not sure I'm grasping the winter's night simile, but overall this is a charming poem. I'll come back for more, perhaps. :)
Oct 12, 2011 -
Re: Deux poèmes
Lumi is probably right, so for now I'm only reviewing the first poem. I may come back to tackle the second though! :) Opening couplet and following two lines are ...
Oct 11, 2011 -
Re: With Love, From Albany
Hello, Lumi! :) This is great here. First stanza is fantastic. Overall you've achieved some excellent imagery, tone, and voice. I get that this is a letter addressed to someone. ...
Sep 30, 2011 -
Re: Saxophones in Fall
Jasmine perfumes the woolly foreboding which waxes o'er the balcony, rails, lawn chairs, trails of suburban-blue and me and you. The moon marbles and bobs like yolk in the milky ...
Sep 24, 2011 -
Re: Professor Morgenstern
Good Evening, Apple Core! :p The introduction was very well done. But why would a genius problem-solver not just invent a coffee maker for home? I get that you're saying ...
Sep 21, 2011 -
Re: Nate's Outburst
A screenshot would have been more appropriate. Considering the questionable nature of this, I'm not sure if I should believe that's an accurate quote. Not to mention these complaints should ...
Sep 16, 2011
