ink_on_fire

Hi :) Welcome to YWS. (>^^)> hug ahuh..:) Enjoy. Peace V :P

Hey :) Nice blood. Ok, firstly. The gore is laughable. Sorry...but I think you didn't quite get the descriptive side of the blood. I don't really think this is the ...

Good poem. I disagree with some of the above about making it more emotional and less preachy. :) The way you have approached it is down-to-earth and material. I think ...

Nice :) I'm not too sure about this bit of the chorus I found a shoe box with all your writings tucked inside. I browsed through them till I broke ...

:) Love it! I like the twist at the end. The ' and put on my glasses ' bit really shows alot to me. Lovely rhythm. The 3 line stanzas ...

Also, why don't you go and do some reviews? :) We like a 2:1 ratio for our posts and reviews. It keeps everything balanced. :) Catch you round

Hey :) I get the emotion. Really well. I actually feel sad a bit, maybe I can relate. But they never did. [s]It[/s] They just got worse Maybe keeping they ...

Hey :) Welcome to YWS. Hmm, I'm not sure this poem does need as much work as you think. There are a few things I could point out though. All ...

Not sure about the flow but it was good. Made me cold :) You know she'll never let you go. For years you sit, and watch her leave, Over your ...

Well, I'm not too sure about the split in the middle...I noticed it too much. I know you said you weren't using capital letters, but I have to admit- it ...

:) 9/10 Amazing story. Only a few spelling mistakes that I saw :) It's enough to let me see what I'm writing at least (I think you left out see ...

Awesome poem. Compelling, moving, sick...beautiful. I'm not too sure on the structure of your seems a bit all over the place. The last verse is powerful. I wasn't expecting it ...

Hey guys thanks :) Love the muffins..and the bright gift lol. See you all round :)

Thanks for all the pointers guys :) I'm pretty sure it's moving in the mafia direction but i avoided mentioning that because of the whole cliche side of things. Obviously ...

Hmmm... Welcome to YWS :) Your peom is short. Haha. Maybe a bit of length and some descriptive words would give it life. This is a very basic poem skeleton ...