in_too_deep

hi Lexy, i like it, seems like it's a very personal subject. But such a personal subject is ruined I feel from your choice of words. Something that is personal ...

It could be effective, but i also agree you definitely need to take more time with your poetry. Also, in the future if you are goin to post 4 poems ...

hmm...the rythm was a tad off in some places and the rhyming scheme kept changing. Try sticking to either freeverse or ryming couplets etc. in the future. However i do ...

Into the depths of deciet we venture, Not considering the consequences, The truth is what we desire, what we long for. The lies polute the air in this place, Each ...

This is very beautifully written, with a strong and powerful message. well done!

I quite liked this :) It is something that i can relate to, as I'm surea lot of others can. Maybe girls more than boys. THe one thing i have ...

Thankyou all very much for your comments, they are much appreciated :)

I liked this poem and I thought you used suitable imagery, a little confusing in some places, but nevertheless, enjoyable to read. good job :) xx

I loved this!! espescially the imagery of 'red rain' ans the shadow with no legs. I really enjoyed reading it :)

I liked it, espescially the line 'It glides through my bones' If you work a bit harder you could achieve , I'm sure, great things. Keep writing :)

Right, I've done it :)

Yaay! I'm gald you liked it and no, that quote wasn't meant to be there :) it was an accident and i dont know how to get it off now ...

I thought you had some really nice rhyming couplets, but a few of them sounded as though you couldn't think of anything to say, so you used any word that ...

In the black of the night, nervously she slept, waiting for the Devil to come. when he finally came, they danced into the dark knowing they would never return. He ...

overall, i thought it was quite meaningful and i did like it. However, in the last couple of lines it sounds as though you dont know what else to say, ...