horsegirl2

Good story line, but I caught several structural errors. Try to keep your sentences a little shorter, capitalize your I's, and watch punctuation. Other then that I enjoyed it.

Wow. You've got me hooked, you just need to develop the characters.

Very interesting. The first part is good, a little rough in places, but good. The second part seems a little slow and wordy, but I'd like to see where you ...

I move as wind in the leaves rustlings no one hears but the trees Awaking only the cicadas who dare to hear Invisible as the air no one hears nor ...

I really like your idea and plot, however the one thing that makes this story less realilistic is her blindness. Could we see Ivy stumbling, and feeling around a little ...

My name is Horsegirl2, and I love to write! I write alot of poetry, but my love is adventure fiction. I want to make a career out of writing so ...