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horsegirl2

  • Other Poetry Re: [In]Sane

    Wow! I really enjoyed this, I could empathise with every line!

    Aug 8, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Sunset Sailors

    Very good piece, however the line Where sunset sailors often hide away doesn't seem to fit, but that may just be me. Very nice poem, I enjoyed it!

    Aug 8, 2010
  • Historical Fiction Novels Re: My Robin Hood Chapt. 5

    Very goo. I've really been enjoying this story. I do have a few nit-picks for you though: Oh.” Will and I walked on in silence till I felt soft dirt ...

    Aug 8, 2010
  • Action/Adventure Short Stories Re: War of 2201: Reminiscing the Good Old Days (1)

    Interesting. The only nit-pick I have for you is sometimes I couldn't tell who was speaking. Be sure to make it clear who is speaking. It was a very interesting ...

    Aug 6, 2010
  • Fanfiction Short Stories Re: Cyclone-The forgotton of the X-Men

    I don't normally do the whole "fan-fiction" thing, but this is an idea I've had for awhile. Just tear it up for grammar and form, and if people like it, ...

    Aug 5, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Play. Pause. Rewind.

    I really joyed it. I especially loved the ending, it tied the whole piece together nicely. When it grammar and such I believe everyone else covered what I would

    Aug 5, 2010
  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: The Rose in the Snow(Revised)

    Wow. That was a beautiful piece and I really enjoyed it. I only caught one punctuation error: She pulled her hand off the gate, the silk glove that protected her ...

    Aug 5, 2010
  • Action/Adventure Short Stories Re: Land of Plesant Living

    Very interesting. You kept switching past and present tense, but that was about the only grammatical error I saw. Also, the main character could have been developed a little more, ...

    Aug 5, 2010
  • Action/Adventure Short Stories Re: Blind me

    You have very good style, I only saw a few mistakes that could easily be fixed. However, I'd like to see you write something that hasn't been done 200 times ...

    Aug 5, 2010
  • Romantic Novels Re: Holding the Sun - chapter 2

    That was good. Can't wait to see where this goes.

    Aug 4, 2010
  • Fantasy Novels Re: Assembly-- Chapter One

    This sounds like it could get very good. What I did see though, is that in places where you used a dash, you should have used a semi-colon. Also, you ...

    Aug 4, 2010
  • Fantasy Novels Re: Fire Dimensions-Prologue

    Amazing! I saw a few simple mistakes, but I can't wait to hear the rest of this.

    Aug 4, 2010
  • Historical Fiction Novels Re: My Robin Hood Chapt. 4

    Wow! Very good I was drawn right into the story. Saw a few type-os, but no major mistakes Can't wait for the next part!

    Aug 4, 2010
  • Fanfiction Short Stories Re: A Proper Introduction- Zuko & Momo

    I am a huge Avatar fan and I think you did a wonderful job. The only thing I would change is that I don't think Zuko would use the word ...

    Aug 3, 2010
  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: Harana (Serenade)

    Loved the story. I only saw one thing I would change: you used the word "guy" once, which isn't in 17Th century vocabulary. Inter sting story and very good characters.

    Aug 3, 2010


Poetry lies its way to the truth.
— John Ciardi