hockeyfan87

Still not all of chapter one, but I figure since it will probably be a lengthy chapter I should post bit by bit. Thanks! It was the summer day everyone ...

This was wonderful. I couldn't take my eyes off the page. I don't feel there is anything you need to change. PM me when you postmore (:

this was reallly good but I agree here should be her. I also think you should describe more. Like what they look like, wear, etc. PM me when you post ...

That was really good. Lots of over people have reviewed so I don't know if you want me to, but there was one thing I think I should say. Make ...

this is all of chapter one It was the summer day everyone loved: the warm sun beating on your face, your feet dangling into the harbor of the local boat ...

Still not ALL of chapter one It was the summer day everyone loved: the warm sun beating on your face, your feet dangling into the harbor of the local boat ...

I am not a poetry fanatic so I don't really know what to critique you on, but I will try. This was very nice I loved how it went from ...

This is only part of the first chapter, thanks for reading it! It was the summer day everyone loved, the warm sun beating on your face, your feet dangling into ...

This is a REALLY good story, there isn't much to improve that other people have not already pointed out. (: So good job! -pghpenguins

She pouted. “Get you, miss stroppy.” “I’m not stoppy ,” I insisted. “I’m just bored of hearing how much pain you’re in. Have you told your mum yet?” Not sure ...

this was good, sure there were some mistakes, but you will find those when you re-read this. PM me when you post more, or just write on my wall, either ...

I like this poem, I agree some of the lines didn't make sense but that may just be me. Good poem though. Jenn

This is really good. I liked it a lot. Keep writing. PM me when you post more work. Jenn

I agree add to it. It has SOOOO much potential and it just ended. Like "I went to the." That was how it felt to me, the reader. I don't ...

Capitalize your I's always, like megsug wrote it will help people gain respect for you and your writings. Also, why did you post it if it wasn't done? There was ...