hobbes

I wish I could change the world oh so many things, need to be changed the horrible things, that makes it deranged the murderous killings the horrible death so many ...

hmmmmmmm....well, i did enjoy. stupendous poem yet again good grammer and punctuation( is that how you spell it?) and all that i think the last line fits fine. -mark ake:hobbes ...

honestly? that's how she goes? one man killed her? I think that after all shes been through she should've fought five people and killed them all, ignoring the pain searing ...

first off, first line I think you could get rid of. second, a boss can't tell you to work overtime.its against the law.he could only ask them to. third, [quote]one ...

ok. this is officially the worst story ever. Im not gonna write anymore of it. if your reading this you already know it's horrible. sincerely-myself

sorry dude, but this did nothing for me. In the beginning of the story there was no hook to get me into it. you had good descriptions and you got ...

straight up, homie G! trippin poem. its funny to. quik tip, review 2 writings quik, or else you'll have to write four and we know how much fun that is ...

it counted as a review. mods.please dont get angry. please fix this

dfghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

First of, BillyBoy,I have no idea where this guy is. is he in school? is he at home? That type of establishment is important so the reader can connect with ...

coolio. It's a little confuzzling but I like that. Also, I gotta agree with niteowl.you gotta use capitalazation. I really enjoy reading your poems so keep writing them.

just a few things dude. first use a few more discriptions in your writing. "as a bullet struck a tree in front of him" is kinda, blah (exciting, but blah). ...

all gather close, all gather near! I have a great story I want you to hear! The tale is of Blackbeard a mighty pirate was he the story begins in ...

I can see this as being a novel/book type of thing. it has the "outsiders" type story line, which I find awsome. just a tip,you should describe Natasha more. she ...

PROLOGUE The Tale From the beginning, God has had his angels by his side. With no free will, He has ruled over them. He tends to them, as he does ...