haylstormsx

This is good--but I have one picky thing: It seems like Randi is very quick to believe the "dark winged shape" is this mysterious monster that he never believed in. ...

I know that this is a prologue so it should be vague, but I think you'd really benefit from a few more sentences of description just because parts of it ...

Okay, first off: formatting- -I wouldn't use the ~~~ as break sections -Don't tell us it's a dream I think you have a really interesting idea here, but the beginning ...

I think you have the bones, but you're missing some oomph. Never fear though, that's what editing is for. Curious about this: --and orange juice or coffee It cant be ...