happybear

This was extremely intriguing. It caught my attention. I would love to see more by you soon. You have expounded a lot on her loneliness and as of right now ...

OOOH I like this time line better! Originally you had it at Starbucks, having it at school allows for more interaction with character upon character and it stretches out our ...

whew! I have no idea why I like this story so much but I am a big fan! keep me updated! and again, amazing writing!

OOOh plot thickens! Please PM when you write more I'm starting to really be drug into this !haha =D Sorry I was getting to much into it to nick pick ...

Wow... This is amazing!! Hold on while I regain my composure. ... Ok I’m good now. =) This poem hit me hard because it speaks so true, it’s almost simple ...

This isn't the type of stuff I am used to reading. It is a little dark for me. But that being said =) this is GOOD! You've really made the ...

Well I saw you only had two reviews so I thought I'd drop by and give you add one to it. ... but now that I'm here I see why ...

I am not the person really to critic a sonnet I don't know enough about them. But I am the person to ask if you’re in need of some positive ...

This is great! You have imagery, and stanzas with three main happenings and you've embraced the subject and you opened it, like flower, for all of us to read! .... ...

Ok maybe I am just biased... but I LOVE THIS!!! Proud of you for posting this! .... But beside that This is good, the story of Mary is SO intriguing ...

I will be honest..... I’m confused!!! Does anyone else feel like that? Or is it just me and I'm missing something O.o Now I could just be sleep deprived and ...

First off I think you've got a good start here. There are parts that need reworking. Can you tell me about her life with out using the long catalogues? Catalogues ...

When I hear what you say Then I dream of the day When I dream of the day My mind starts to play You fallen for my charms I am ...

Wow this is really good! It's very emotional and that is excellent! You've really gotten your readers into your character and you were thorough with your story. We weren't left ...

you still have a few slip ups in grammar and spelling they were so small and there are quite a few of them so I am not going to copy ...