hankesj

Luvzi12- Okay, so first off..You really need to work on SHOWING us your story..not TELLING. Expand, expand, expand. Your sentences read kind of like the spot books. See spot. See ...

more more! I want more of this story. I want a 400 page story.. PLEASE! lol. This is amazing. I would most certaintly pick this up as a book of ...

Tanker- Okay. I think the story line is great, however I think you really need to work on sentence structure, chracter development, dialouge. To me- you have written sentences like ...

I usually really dislike when people write their own views or expand on a story someone else wrote, but this was fantastic. I felt the same fire as when i ...

game- I totally know what you mean. I went back and reread it and it sounded horrible. I am used to personal essays where i bounce back in time. I ...

I fell in love with this piece from the first paragraph. Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me that burned bright when i read this...but i absoultly LOVED your writing. ...

I really enjoyed this piece. The way i imagined it was almost a cross between Ferngully-ness and mythical characters. You are a natural writer and it shows in this piece. ...

**Sorry for the format, i'm still unsure of how to get the format on here to look like it does in MS Word. Any Help? I tried to copy and ...

OMG. OMG. You are amazing! I have already fallen in love with Amelia. She has this perfection in her imperfection sort of thing going on.. and i like her sarcastic ...

You really captured the characters very nicely. I'm impressed. I think you should expand this chapter a little more. Add what some of the other cullens are feeling. Like Carlilse ...

**SIDE NOTE- this is my first attempt at writing something other than a personal essay.. I've never really thought i could do it. Does this seem more as a prologue ...

KJ... I've spent two days here on the forum and the first thing i do is reread your pieces. I just recently read the Twilight Saga..and reading this piece so ...

KJ- I'm glad that you decided to go out of the box, because this piece was amazing. It is writers like you that not only motivate me to write, but ...

Just a quick question... Does the prologue of a story always have to match who is narrorating the story. If someone put a prologue in 3rd person but the story ...

Wow. I was very impressed. I felt like I was a fly on the wall, watching all of the nostalgia, awkwardness and emotion reeling in the room. I quite enjoyed ...