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Re: Fireworks
Wow lol. It's very good, not my type but I actually really liked it :D I didn't expect too.....I'm proud of you ^~^.
May 17, 2011 -
Re: Laughter
You need to be more descriptive :) don't be so straight forward in your poetry (unless you roll like that). I liked it, sorta, I usually don't prefer this type ...
May 17, 2011 -
Re: Bitter Regret
Very nice! I really really liked it! :) I am jealous!!
May 17, 2011 -
Re: A Deadly Promise
Pretty good, though it's kind of straight forward of what' happening. That's just my opinion though but I might be jealous because it's so good! :)
May 17, 2011 -
Re: The Liar
Nice! I thought it was great, however, at the beginning I'm really confused about what it's talking about. How is she a liar? You used good description and word flow ...
May 17, 2011 -
Re: Mirror
Mirror Tell me your pain Talk to the mirror Move your lips And watch it respond Lift a hand To your face And touch the mask Of a murderer Fire ...
May 17, 2011 -
Re: Nine O'Clock
It was an okay story, didn't seem to have a central point to making it but hey, it's not mine :). I understand that it's a first person story but ...
May 16, 2011 -
Re: First kiss
This is sooooo good! I did also nearly cry and it was so romantic. Any girl would be lucky to have you and the girl you wrote this for must ...
May 16, 2011 -
Re: She Was Blind
It's very annoying that you repeat over and over that she was blind. If this was a poem, then sure, go ahead and repeat it but this a story. You've ...
May 16, 2011 -
Re: Burning
I love the idea! And I can tell you learned a good bit from history class XD all I can say is don't be so straight forward in the beging. ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: Eternal Cold
Eternal Cold Without a body, Your soul runs free, Away from physical pain, But alone in society, Eternally cold in the mind, Sick with the pain of dying, Slaughtering souls, ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: I Believe
I hate to judge this story since I'm very religious but it's very un-descriptive and kind of boring. You're jumping from scene to scene and it's kind of confusing. It's ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: You Taught Me
This is kind of confusing, but maybe that's just. At first, I didn't even know if the narrator was a boy or girl. I thought it was talking about a ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: Heartbreak
This is exactly how it feels like to have a broken heart. It like literally hurts....good job.... :)
May 14, 2011 -
Re: Mask
I like it :)
May 14, 2011
