gymnast_789

thanks!

Really good! I really liked the beginning. The only thing I have to say is to check your capitalization and punctuation. Otherwise I really enjoyed reading this.

I agree with everything. I have been trying to think of a new begining. thanks for all of your addvice!

2nd

Really cute! I really like numbers 2,7, & 8.

This was intersting. I really liked the begining. Try describing things a little bit more, it will make it more intersting. You also have a few spelling mistakes, and I'm ...

Thanks for all of the advice. Be sure that I will be working more on this and adding more details to make it more intersting.

" I woke up in a room, I hope. I knew exactly what this was about. I was seeing a woman: a wife to a very powerful man in England ...

Instead of using " His back hair was a little long..." You could try using something like "His hair brushed the tips the back of his neak..." or something like ...

Prologue: The Golden Egg The Wizard of A'isha sat at his desk re reading the letter that had come days before. He had been waiting here in his dark cold ...