guitargrl1323

this is good, but kind of confusing. try adding more detail and exlpain the situation a little more.

Dark pressing all around, pressure building, intensifying. You try for a little while but in the end the black claims you. Then you hear their voices, those who call you ...

Happiness is a fleeting shadow, Trying to dull the pain of everyday life, but unable to cover up the vast quantities of pain and anguish that seems to envelope the ...

this is really good good. you were right to say that the last line makes the poem. keep writing=]

Consumed in my thoughts. Just scattered and thrown not quite sure of myself and my strengths. I'm not sure how much I can endure. But I know I am strong. ...

this is pretty good as the person above me said, the rhymes are a little forced. In order to make them better you should also think about the rhythm more. ...

Kisses in the rain Soft lips gaining purchase, trying To never part A forbidden love One that many would scorn Not that it stopped them Two people Brought together by ...

this is good nice n dark, just how i like them(just kidding) its meaning is kind of confusing though has he died, or did you both break up? keep writing=]

this is really good. It doesn't really matter that the language is kind of plain, because you utilize it so well The blue through the trees turned skin to stone, ...

this is pretty good for your second try. first, the nit-picking: I feel trapped,as if my brain is a dungeon Captured, by a beautiul girl with a truncheon. this doesnt ...

When I die, show no pity I’m headed to the star-lit city To join the other dreamers up in The cool black of eternal night When I’m gone, please don’t ...

The confusion is taking me but I don’t know why I keep trying but you keep pushing me away What the hell is wrong with you Can’t you see what ...

thanks and ya, it's a song

Your heads on my chest My arms protecting you from Anything wishing you hurt Your breathings so calm, so Tranquil, its steady rhythm never failing And as you’re lying with ...

this is really pretty, but what is it about?? the stanzas don't really pull together and explain your thoughts "I ask her where we are right now and she tells ...