guitargrl1323

this is good. it kept me interested throughout, just one stanza didn't make sense: Set apart with years of strife He ended up mistreating her, right The day came when ...

another oldie Some say I’m Daddy’s little girl And they might be right I’m closer to my dad Then I could be with anyone else So on this day I ...

another oldie He walks down the halls All dressed in almost-liquid black A stain, Against white walls Trapped in this place That we call life Not much to look at ...

this is really interesting. I didn't find anything wrong with it. a new tittle could be "In Light Of", just a thought ~guitargrl~

i think that all of these are good, but would be better if combined. you have a repeating theme in all of them, a sort of depressing, theres no hope ...

i really liked this, but it was kind of confusing. You jumped thoughts really quickly between the 1st and second stanzas. Maybe try adding more detail and easing your way ...

(this is an oldie) Her eyes are like the ocean That she stares into endlessly Trying to hide the tears that Just won’t go away Salty water splashes on the ...

A silvery form floats above the frozen water. Ice-crystals shimmer and shine in the dying light of day as blackness begins to swallow the blue of the sky. Only the ...

This is good, but the rhyming is kind of confusing. You start out with rhyming, then stop, then start again at the end. I don't know if it's supposed to ...

I don't know anyone else hasn't commented on this, so I will=] it was good....really I guess that answers my question keep it up=] ~guitargrl~

The surrounding darkness doesn’t help no, just makes the movie playing behind my eyes just seem brighter just more real just makes me wish you were here Each day seems ...

If life is but a dream, then let me sleep forever, drifting through my existence in peaceful slumber. If the world is but drowning in a pool of cosmic emptiness, ...

We wish for the death of night, for its darkness to give way to the bright light of the sunrise. But for however beautiful it might seem, there is still ...

this is good, but some of the rhyming seems forced at places. He purposely deceives himself into thinking all those battles were for naught you go from having 12 syllables ...

this is really intense. Your hands around my waste. waste should be waist. besides that, good job