greenjay

Mathias "Simple!" I said giving Tas a sly look. "You two will be the distraction. Jade will attack Tas, and Tas will fight her just long enough to let us ...

Sorry I took so long. I posted but there was an error, and then I was gone for the weekend. Mathias "Not exactly the secret passages one would find in ...

Good, good, and good. All good. Leave the Mathias's kid thing up to me, but the rest is set in stone :D...for now :P. Err...we could have another one if ...

He realized he was looking at grey rocks very saw away, barely visible that they were separate, due to sheer numbers. ???rocks saw away???I think you mean rocks FAR away. ...

Ooo. Goodjob. I was fifteen again, bouncing along the back roads to the beach in our puke-green Suburban. Is that how you spell suburban? I'm not sure. That's the only ...

Though they stopped twice to rest, they by and large pushed forward until their mounts’ heads hung low and their hooves dragged, and the riders were slumped in the saddle, ...

I did a little bit of editing here. I think I fixed the old English/modern dialog thing, and I fixed up some other things too. -greenjay

Well we wouldn't really go into the future....here's my thoughts: the king is assassinated with much dificulty and cool action (:P), but the head dies "heroicly" in the procees (he's ...

Ooo, this is good. And Sirius is fine. Mathias I looked at the young Rogue and sighed, couldn't he see where he wasn't wanted? A year ago I would have ...

Ya, Tas could be the new king and there could finally be peace between Xnrom and the Rogues :smt041 . Anyway, I don't know about the new character, but Mathias ...

Good job! I actually didn't find anything wrong with is :D. I liked this section. The part with Mariamne was most interesting, and I like the insite into Dominic's character. ...

At their front rode Daeun and Ianna, Daeun upon Tsuunai, and Ianna upon a bright dun whose temper had immediately appealed to the J’engar assassin-queen . The J’engar were awkward ...

Ooo, that sounds fun :D! Tis a good thought. -GJ

Mathias We heard the wagon approaching before we could see it. Eventually it rumbled over the hill before us, and Quin and Tobias looked at me surprised. "Leave the wagon ...

I have a thought though...when do storybooks end? When we get tired of them? I think if we had a nice big long assassination thingy with many complex twists and ...