greenjay

Here are some random things that i thought of. Things NOT to do in this story. 1. Humanize: don't make Harestin a human with big ears and feet, make him ...

SWEET! I started reading this on the home page and just had to click on it so that I could finish it. There is only one problem I see with ...

I can't add much to the other comments; but if your story is anything like the prologue, it should be great! If you do anything more on it (which I ...

Oh, and about posting more soon...I might try a few more excerpts but probably won't start posting the full story untill later.

hi! Thanks a lot for your comments, everyone. :D They help a lot. To Griffinkeeper: First, the reason for a lot of the problems and confusion with this story is ...

Very good! One quick thing is you might add some more conversation between Harestin and Covter. To me the time at the crow's house (or nest or whatever) seemed a ...

The Bane of the Lich “Flee! Flee all you spawn of fire for your bane is coming! The great halls of Dali burn in the ashes of your carnage, your ...

I don't have much to add, but i will say this. From the little i have seen of the plot it is really interesting, imaginative, and mysterious. What I mean ...

Thank you for your ideas and stuff. I wrote this one in like 20 minutes so you can see why it wasn't all that great :P. Anyway, I've got more ...

I'm doing Dugon, it does sound better; more fanasy-like. I again

Sounds better now! I like its flow and style better. Just one thing: "In the time of your Ancestors, there was a brave tribe that were nomads, living by a ...

This is kind of a nerdy and random idea, but whatever. Someone makes this scientific, fancy videogame that is supposed to somehow be the most realistic game ever. The person ...

All in all I say it is very good. The synphoney part is interesting and is a good and original way to start a story. You might tie some of ...

It's good, but kind of rushed (as a prelude it's fine). Another thing, a HARE named HAREstin. You might be a little more original. The animal idea isn't bad though ...

Hey thanks! Sorry if you'll be utterly disappointed :P but I have not really made up a language, just made up the word on the spot; but still, it's a ...