greenjay

Thank you both for the suggestions! I appreciate the input, and I made some touchups accordingly. I think Jaemel's exit is a clearer now thanks to your note Jenthura. As ...

The Street Urchin He was the dirtiest of the urchins, but an intelligent gleam brightened his eyes. The boy had ripped his leggings on one misadventure or another, but they ...

Hi Alfonso, First, I want to say that I really liked the idea of this story. Achilles's meeting with the gods and experience and survival of the river lend a ...

First, good job on this theme. I love fantasy and fairytales, but they can be addictive to the point of self-destruction, as you showed in this story. Furthermore, I like ...

Hey Lethero! I guess you like your character a lot, naming your account after him. I know what it is like...Characters can become very personal when you write about them ...

I cannot say much concerning the manner of the plot as this is very short and as I have not read the first chapter, so I will keep my comments ...

I am sorry for my inappropriate comment, there. Indeed there is "junk" on this site--it's just natural--but I implied that most is junk, which is not necessarily true. But like ...

Good job. I second what Sasha said about the beginning and have little to add. I suggest looking over the ending again and trying to make that a bit longer ...

I must say that this is a relief after all the junk that I am used to finding in the fantasy section. There are plenty of good ideas out there, ...

First off, good job. I like this piece and the inner depths that it probes. I think you could deepen some of the meanings, such as what the beasts repressent ...

Though I am not very good at either writing or critiquing poetry, I can tell that this is good. The imagery is vivid, and the flow and ryhme is well ...

Well, it seems like Ofir and Worx did a pretty good job at some of the specifics so far, so I'll try to give you some more general tips, if ...

Many people write to further a cause, to become famous, or even to impress girls, but I write simply because I love it. So this was a very tough question ...

Hey, thanks! To be honest I did this for a creative writing class and had a limit of time and words, but I could extend it now that it is ...

Footsteps echoed throughout the quiet halls, reverberating through open chambers and vast hollows. Nothing stirred, but one shape, a man flitting from shade to shadow. The figure went ever onward, ...