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Re: The McBride's: Generations whisper Chapter1
Hey! I'm Amna and I'm excited to be reviewing this post! Derek could feel himself getting stronger as his mouth filled with the delicious taste of blood from the weak ...
Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:54 am -
Re: Untitled Story (Part 3)
HI! I'm Amna and I'm excited to read this! I hope my notes are useful :) Willa curled up in the hospital bed, facing the wall. The last of her ...
Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:31 am -
Re: The Art Of Wishing (first 500 words)
Any critique is welcome What do people think about the moment before they die? What thoughts ran through the mind during that second they straddled the thin line between existence ...
Fri Jul 02, 2010 7:56 am -
Re: The Real Geek.
Not too crazy. Hehe! Good to know ;) Yikes, I always thought that london was bad!
Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:55 am -
Re: Extract- La Pare
Sorry, I realized the extract may be hard to understand but it is a key turning point in my book and I needed critique for it! Sorry, got to work ...
Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:21 pm -
Re: Catching Fire
It just came in the post today! I cant tear my eyes away so far...
Sat Sep 05, 2009 12:34 pm -
Re: Extract- La Pare
Any critique is welcome. The sun lowered in the sky, an array of colours meshed and it was breathtaking. The beaches were most definitely the best thing about La Pare. ...
Sat Sep 05, 2009 12:33 pm -
Re: Shattering Glass
These are just my opinions! Do with them as you please. “You’re going out?” He tried his best to remain calm as I shrugged on my coat. “In this kind ...
Sat Sep 05, 2009 12:27 pm -
Re: The Real Geek.
:elephant: (Okay, that smiley is just awesome) I'm a 17 year old londoner, who always forgets to take her umbrella so I usually feel the wrath of british weather. I ...
Sat Aug 29, 2009 1:16 pm -
Re: Loving grandma
I never thought I’d love my grandmother as much as I did now. Staring at her half open eyes, unfocused and hollow, I felt guilt. Guilt for not helping her ...
Sat Aug 29, 2009 12:12 pm -
Re: Heart in Chains 1
This was well written! Only thing I would point out is the amount of adverbs you use. When you use the adverb, your telling not showing. Don't worry, I do ...
Sat Aug 15, 2009 1:16 pm -
Re: Already Gone [1]
Well done, I think this was well written. You tell me a lot of things, but I would prefer it if you just showed me! I think you have the ...
Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:15 pm -
Re: Forgiveness is for Sinners- a western romance story
Hi! Please take my critique with a pinch of salt :) It is only my opinion! Wrapping her shawl around her slender shoulders, Liana shivered in the chilly beginning of ...
Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:01 pm -
Re: Western Romance. Please reveiw.
Hiya :) These are just my opinions, so do with them as you please! 1. This is very well written. Your descriptions are captivating and I feel like the story ...
Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:23 pm -
Re: Stay Forever [Chapter Two]
Hiya :) These are just my opinions, so you can completely ignore me! 1. I actually thought your MC age was between 15-19. I figured she might be 17 because ...
Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:03 pm
