-
Re: Sweet Memories
It is the first song I have posted on here, but not my first song. Thanks for the crit, but I shan't be changing the lyrics, I can sing it ...
Jul 3, 2008 -
Re: Sweet Memories
Sometimes when I think too much, you all seem so far away, I sit and pine, my silent mind, it starts to cry. There are things in life we just ...
Jul 2, 2008 -
Re: Whispers
These words are nicely put together and I could almost put a tune them. The structure you have is good also. Thanks!
Jul 2, 2008 -
Re: Summer
It was nice, but very short...I felt you could have done more with an entire season and been more unique. Your rhymes were nice, but nothing special...perhaps you could try ...
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: An Angel's decent
The poem was one of your best. I loved the imagery and how the rhymes worked together. maybe it should be 'awash' instead of 'a wash', thats the only crit. ...
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: "I am a person too"
Simple and effective. You got the point across in an interesting way; it was good to read. x
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: Cockroaches and Condoms
That was really funny! Very realistic I guess, easily read, good grammar...nothing to crit really, just to say it was awesome!
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: In the early hours.
Above the town, The sky is split lovely use of form here, spacing the lines out - decentring the reader. And tugged from east to west by clouds. Tiny black ...
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: BINGO! the musical - intro
I LOVE this song, you can instantly sense the rhythm and the tune. It makes me want to dance sooo much. The lyrics are witty, the rhymes are even wittier...sheesh! ...
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: My goodbye to a teacher
That was great to read, it is great that you have such a high regard for a teacher that you took the time to write this. Mr. B must mean ...
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: Harry Potter
It is good, but I had a few qualms with it. In the beginning you tell us how the students feel, etc. but instead it makes it more interesting for ...
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: whatever title you want
Icaruss is right, he made me laugh so much. You need to consider things more carefully. You won't get sympathy by making up a 'poem' on the spot...you need to ...
Jun 29, 2008 -
Re: Linda
I am a real nature freak, so I loved this. The parallel between the seasons and twisting clock hands, it is very vivid. ...I would have liked it to be ...
Jun 29, 2008 -
Re: An Evening Lullaby
I enjoyed your poem, it was very relaxing and your choice of words really lent themselves to the style of a lullaby. The only little problem I had was in ...
Jun 28, 2008 -
Re: When I Was Young
When I was young I trapped an ant in a circle of hot glue. He twitched and jerked in pain. You do not deserve this. When I was young I ...
Jun 28, 2008
