foxfire

Firstly, I like how you describe the main protangonist through the use of the clothing style and the dialogue in which it revealed a type of person she is. But…for ...

white tiger...how about if you let my character meet yours in the camp. as far as i can remember, my characters is kissing Cornelia so you can interrupt them or ...

yeah...finally, someone got my storybook!!

it is the same signature but anyway...8/10

*i felt sorry for Mykolas but i'll post him later ICLISA "Hey, hey, chill. Iclisa you look nice in pink, haven't you see yourself in a mirror. YOu're pretty, girl, ...

well basically, you realized that the 'world' you are living is not real and after realizing that you wonder if you are really dead or in a coma. SO, the ...

okay this is my second storybook and i hope that this is much more longer lasting than the last one okay so here is the story: you are living in ...

Characterization I like how you describe the girl and her relationship with her parent. But again, there were some parts of the story that seemed unclear. For example, the street ...

Firstly, I have not much to say except for the tense. Again, you are mixing the past tense with the present tense. Try to use on tense though it will ...

PLOT Firstly, I like the plot of your story on how a good kid turned evil reminds me of Elfen Leid but anyway, the plot is good as an introduction ...

Ahhh…I like it. I like the introduction of the story you are making. Firstly, I want to say that you used well the opening paragraph to set out a mood ...

Firstly if this introduction, I like it. I like how you amaze the reader on a present moment of her being in a state of dilemma and in the end ...

The plot is somewhat fast pace especially at the end part of the story and it feels that it quickly reveals to the reader what has happen. Usually a short ...

*can anyone put me in please...sorry if its short i am in a hurry for writing this post. Iclisa i walked my way sluggishly to the lake. EVeryone was there ...

*pudin...i answered your plea!! but i have work to do so this is all the best i got Body Collector I sat next to a young vampire who was at ...