forest_ofthe_nightingale

(before I say anything about yr poem, I must say that when you write a constructive criticism, tell what you LIKE too!!! If you don't like anything keep your mouth ...

OK, i like the this poem and the idea behind it, but I'm wondering, did you mean to have "pain" and "rain" rhyme in the first stanza? It takes away ...

I love the ending. Its flows really smoothly and leaves no explanation... that can be a perfect way to end.

I liked the sinister feel here. It made me want to hurt the person who was talking. That's really awesome.

I really like the message of this poem. I totally agree with you. However, the last phrase in the last stanza is just not giving you the finish you need. ...

OK, this has potential, but it jumps too quickly from the cutting to telling the mother what the subject has been doing. Why did that person tell on themself? Why ...

This poem is soo beautiful! There was only one minorly minor thing I could barely find "wrong" (i probably shouldn't even label it as "wrong") OK, just put quote marks ...

I definitely agree with Dream about the grammar and the second-to-last sentence, but in some other sentences, the order in which you placed the words doesn't sound as good as ...

Yup, i totally agree. It definitely shows how crappy this world is, BUT (oh no, here it comes!) I think the flow of the poem could be a lot better. ...

The Mirror What do I see in this mirror? In this mirror all cracked and dingy? I see a memory, a tiny memory, and what I saw so many years ...

Hmm... I like some of the description, but its all just little fragments and you don't really get much of a picture... Like here: soft air humming cool buzz silver ...

A Mass of Swirling Water It came as our death sentence, a huge, spinning mass, swirling in circles, tummeling in sheets of death, like daggers, a million tiny daggers destroying ...

When I read this, I wasn't really sure how to really read it. I don't know, but it didn't seem to all fit together. I actually like the title (I'm ...

Yeah, um, yoha ( its weird calling you that, but oh well...) I'm gonna take my poem back... and explain a bit too. I actually did start writing a story ...

I think this is a good poem. It really hit me and I was like "yeah, I completely agree with that." but I don't quite understand the phrase "It was ...