flytodreams

Thanks for the critique! :D I just had a brainwave for this story, and changed the prologue. The beginning paragraphs are the same, though. Is this better? : _______________ Icy ...

Icy Paths Prologue: Victory and Loss She ran, leaping over corpses, her feet almost always splashing into pools of blood. Her heart was beating hard in her chest, and her ...

I like listening to music when I'm writing, whether it matches what I'm writing or not.

I can't find anything to be corrected with it, except for, as everybody said: It's too short. Just post the whole chapter, or it will be hard to critique properly. ...

Almost all the sentences started with got tiring. Like everybody said. Lying between everything, night and day, light and darkness, sound and silence, and sleep and awareness. The last part ...

He kept moving, slowere steadily, making sure that his companion could keep up. 'slowere'? It was really nice, I admire the description. :)

Darkness is such a good tool, don't you think? Yep. I'm not going to post any more Clearwater, because no one is critiquing any more, but I'm still writing and ...

My cat, I love her so much! ~ Rhen. What do you think of your society?

Wow! It's very interesting, but I have a little question. If time had stopped, why did you write: Days had passed since Emma had climbed the fence out of Clearwater. ...

I like the Chronicles of Narnia. It's not my favorite series, but I like it a lot! :)

“I am Ixchel, flesh of two priests. I am Ixchel, who sits and the shrines at Cozumel and Isla Mujures and blesses the pregnant women who. . .I am Ivy, ...

Everybody hates Paolini...I just read the whole thread, and I agree, Paolini is so full of himself. I read Eragon and Eldest, and I liked both of them, but Eldest ...

I really liked it! When he's thinking revenge, that was my favorite part. You also did a good job describing the elven city after the humans burnt it down. Although ...

I like Ixchel's part, too! :) It was really interesting, and a little scary for me. She killed all the other gods and goddesses? That's really cool. Few mistakes in ...

Wow, your characterization is great. All the characters seem so real! :) That's my favorite part of the story. Now, either it's just me, or when they're talking about Jessica ...