fireheartedkaratepup

*Tries not to seem like I'm stalking your profile* We don't stalk, we follow! ^_^ (Muahahahaha)

I would take out the first comma--read it out loud. You wouldn't normally pause ther, so I don't think you need it in this poem. I don't think anything's wrong ...

I actually didn't see anything wrong with it. Maybe it's because I'm used to reading stories about dogs and wild animals and my dad's a hunter, but I understood right ...

Just to make things confusing, I'm gonna disagree with those before me. Haha just kidding (about the confusing part.) I think this is great. I don't think you should change ...

I can so relate to this. The only thing I'd suggest is: "I imagine myself walking through the hallways Of that sea called school" Other than that, this is tragically ...

This is a story. It is short. It mentions cheese doodles, ducks, and science fairs. It is my entry to Jas' Awesome Prompt Filled Contest (You want to enter!) {Caps ...

HAHAHA, what is it about really mean stuff that makes people laugh? At some point it goes from "Aww, that's so mean. :'(" To "HAHAHAHAHAHA it was so mean I ...

dregymayfield: Not necessarily. Not everyone puts all that much value in a kiss, and emotions can be very complex. You can enjoy another's kiss without actually being in love with ...

Yay, you got it! ^_^ Thanks for the input. And yeah, I was writing it how it I think it should sound--not cure Because would fit rhythmically. And yeah, that ...

The only thing I'd say is to break it up into stanzas. Also, it looks like you did this on the new version of Word, which doesn't do single space ...

*sigh* Yes, a lot of it sounds forced. Now, how do I make it sound natural? XP Edit: So I've decided on the first stanza. The one I'm leaving out ...

Seems a bit forced to me--I guess it's the rhythm or something. Other than that, I like it--very easy to identify with, especially I guess I trusted you too fast ...

Thanks guys! I'll try to fix on the redundant "long" usage--I can't think of anything else that would fit, but I'm working on it.

Mmmnnn. I love this. So true. I find it somewhat odd that this has a peaceful feeling for me--it's very sad, yet it's true, and the way it's written and ...

Nice repetition. Just know that some people might having trouble following it (my eyes can't follow numbers very well, and the same goes for repeated things--the brain kinda tunes them ...