fireheartedkaratepup

I like this. I think it needs more punctuation, but I can see the rambling sentence thing you have going on here. Nice. I would just move the beginning of ...

I don't really understand this poem. The latter part of each stanza--"Passionate words rolling from my lips like venom"--is that describing the beauty "you" wish to have, or is it ...

You asked for a critique, so I'm gonna fire both barrels. (I'm not sure that last part makes sense.) You sit here wondering why..... what, exactly? It sounds like those ...

You asked for a critique, so I'm gonna fire both barrels. (I'm not sure that last part makes sense.) You sit here wondering why..... what, exactly? It sounds like those ...

Awwwwwwww. That's so horrible. Anyway, I think you should use punctuation marks other than periods. You know. So the flow will be better. I'll use my own sentence as an ...

Very nice. Try not to use so many periods--I think dashes and commas would better serve your purpose. For instance: I tread on dangerous ground -- Bombs explode around me ...

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh?????????????????? Why did this post twice? And how do I fix it?

Edit: I should explain to the uninitiated (though I thought I kinda explained it in-story, guess not) that Zoro has the unique ability to fall asleep anytime, anyplace, within a ...

Wow. At first I thought it was going to be whimsical and lighthearted, and then BAM, how dare you kill animals to make things. (Which I completely understand, however; it's ...

Awesome. Blind? Are we also talking about Braille books? XD The book doesn’t ask for money or companionship, just for time. I'd take out the first comma. With a careful ...

Alllrighty then. Red indicates changes. The Blood that drips from my veins Is nothing but cold bitter pain I guess that 's why life is kind of odd S o ...

Ok. First. DO. NOT. USE. ALL. CAPS. It is highly annoying and makes it seem as though you were shouting. I understand you were probably angry when you wrote this, ...

Edit: I will rewrite this!! Cha!! In the meantime, reviews are greatly appreciated--they inspire me, make me feel loved, give me things to improve on, and just generally help me ...

Oh my goodness. This is beautiful. At first I thought you were talking about yourself--I had to re-read the poem after realizing on the last line. It's a commentary on ...

Rather beautiful. I think a new old-exploration should be "a new-old exploration". I can tell you put a lot of work into this-- thanks for uploading. Also, what's a tyndall ...