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Re: Love
I have it admit that I do not review lyrics too much so I decided to try it . I think that you have a pretty good song but there ...
Jun 22, 2010 -
Re: Mark Twain
I thought that your paper on Mark Twain was okay but, it was a little bit like an info dump. In the paper you have a overwhelming amount of information ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: a moment of realisation, edit
Is this a single chapter of a larger story? I think that your story needs to come to a point because as the reader I feel like I have just ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: A tribute to my dad on father’s day.
My dad has been a significant motivating force behind everything I have accomplished in my life. Growing up, I didn’t exactly have a good life because my mother is an ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: Property in the Sky
I like your poem and I think the message of it is true. I do have one suggestion... Not the type that can have faith in your tongue. I think ...
Jun 20, 2010 -
Re: Father
I am sorry that you feel bad on Fathers day. I thought your rhyme scheme was very good. One part of the poem is kind of confusing because I cant ...
Jun 20, 2010 -
Re: The Happy
I love this poem. It is one of the most hilarious poems I have ever read on YWS. Your poem describes the state of mania in the main character really ...
Jun 20, 2010 -
Re: Detroit life
Thank you for the honest review. I know it needs help and I have always had a hard time with punctuation.
Jun 17, 2010 -
Re: Detroit life
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Jun 16, 2010 -
Re: Undertow
Welcome to YWS I actually think that your poem is okay but I will give you a few suggestions... Im sick of these bitches I'm needs to be an apostrophe. ...
Jun 15, 2010 -
Re: World War 2 info
You can get good information from history My Grandpa served in World War 2. He operated a machine gun in the battle for Normandy. He was shot twice in the ...
Jun 14, 2010 -
Re: Gray~ Chp. 1
Yet another vampire melodrama,at this point it is becoming cliche . I agree with Jasmine bells that you wrote from a male point of view pretty well. I do have ...
Jun 14, 2010 -
Re: The Christians' Lie
This is really good I like it a lot.I have one suggestion... And God don't want you anyway now I would change don't to doesn't. Have a good day. Fiction
Jun 14, 2010 -
Re: An Apology and a Curse.
I think you are good at writing non fiction. I know I suck at writing father, stop telling me I’m good. I strongly disagree with this statement because you are ...
Apr 13, 2010 -
Re: Jump *edited*
I think your story is pretty good.I do have a couple of suggestions though He gestured to the busy street hundreds of feet below. Inside, he was beginning to get ...
Apr 11, 2010
