fiction903

I liked this. For a little kids book I think you use alot of descriptive language which is a good thing because most kids books are way too simple and ...

Flying around this vast expanse of green I find her. The carbon dioxide an alluring perfume leading to untouched porcelain skin. Cleverly I land I her back, she cannot touch ...

I think that these lyrics could use some major revisions. It's easy as a pie for everyone It's hard to deny I'm the only one who seems to be no ...

Welcome to YWS. I hope that you like the web site. You're right, some parts of the poem are corny but, I wouldn't throw it out. Isn't this When everyone ...

Hi, kingolions This is definitely one of the more interesting poems I have read. If you've read any of my other stuff, you know that no good can come of ...

Those pictures are awesome. Where did you go to do this? I don't like the first picture so much because the whale looks like a big brown blob in the ...

I thought your story was okay and I noticed some things that I think you should fix. We would meet up there time and time again as many times as ...

Welcome to YWS. I hope that you are enjoying the site. I have horses myself and I must say that you did a great job writing the first paragraph. I ...

This is a vague, simplistic letter in most respects. There is no humorous dialogue or vivid portraits of nostalgia. The only reason I like this letter is because it makes ...

I think that you did a great job . I like your use of descriptive language. But I’m not really the most confident person in the world. Once I enter ...

I think this poem could use some work. I wish you could give a more descriptive, detailed view of the setting. Right now I think that you provide a pretty ...

Welcome to YWS.I hope that you are having a great time here. On to your story. I thought alot of the writing was choppy and bland although it did have ...

I like this I think you let your voice as a writer come through.I think almost everyone can relate to a feeling of inadequacy in gym class or in sports ...

I like your poem. Jumble , mumble spurs of wonder turn into a childlike hunger Bubbles pop rainbow clouds , castles , clowns Squeezed shut our minds eyes close All ...

I love your story. I think you were resourceful when you decided to bring mythology into this piece. I do have a nitpick This place is not what I was ...