fiction903

It was okay. Make sure you don't mix up you tenses as far as the main character goes. I also have one suggestion... Josh! Hurry your stinky little butt up! ...

I like it. Is the main character's mom like a hippie because she is certainly a nonconformist. Anyway I have a couple suggestions.. knifings I think it would sound better ...

I like it.I also have a few suggestions... I turn to face him, take a good look at his face, and sit down. His face is serious, deadly serious, with ...

I like it. It is really pretty especially because roses are hard to draw.If I were you I would make the stem a little bit shorter and add some small ...

I think that you excellent use of similes and metaphors in this story. She turns her back to the silhouettes lingering on its edges, closes her heart and ears to ...

I think you may have posted this in the wrong section because narrative poetry usually does not contain a chorus. Anyway on to my review. But will it be peaceful ...

Thank you all for the reviews. :smt003

I like Darkness2 much better than Darkness1.I think you did a great job with imagery. Fire, flames, the horrid games, The darkness seeping fear, These lines are my favorite. Approaching ...

.......

You people never understand me You people only hate You people taunt and tease And laugh in my face You people never see me You people just walk pass You ...

I think your poem is good but, please don't use "it" so much. I'm not really sure what it is, what it's going for, how it does this to me, ...

I like it.I thought you were very descriptive when you described the protagonist fainting. I don't see anything wrong with it really, although I am not a stickler on punctuation. ...

I was completely and thoroughly confused by the end of the fairy tale. I think there is a bit too many characters with too little description done on them. I ...

I think you have a good start. I do have a couple suggestions though. I remember it so well. It lingers in my head like an almost forgotten dream, but ...

I think your poem is awesome. It is very descriptive and emotional. I only have one suggestion Head filled with dirty plans. I wish you would change dirty plans because ...