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This needs a new title. And I'm going to try and fix some of the stanzas in the middle Play a song. This one Was Marianne’s favourite. Plummeting through realities: ...

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touch-texting typing microcosms of what we mean. abbreviating our names. writing them in pixels. unfriended my friend the other day, walled her off my wall, snapped in my limbs like ...

I liked the effect of the rhymes, although some of them (e.g. dance/distance) are more half-rhymes and sound a little strained. When rhyming, be careful that none of the rhymes ...

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Just noticed and thought I'd point out, since no one else has: you mean 'pore' over exams, not 'pour' as in liquid. Otherwise, great poem! Although the last line did ...

Please don't be offended - all I mean is that it would be a lot more interesting if all the really posh schools trained children to be construction workers rather ...

I haven't posted in ages and ages, but for the past couple of months I've basically been writing reams of freeform poetry, none of which I really feel confident enough ...

Since AkiKerosin has already gone through the poem, I thought I'd just give you my opinion on a few more points. Most of the grammar points are non-negotiable, but a ...

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I'm afraid I can't remember exactly how the previous version was punctuated, but I can see you've made a lot of improvements on the grammar - I salute you. Since ...

I liked this - I'm interested in the relationship between Aaron and Lilly and I want to know more. Something I would say is be careful in your use of ...

I think this is a very interesting idea, and it works well, mostly. You're obviously a good poet - I like the subject you've chosen, because it's a nice one ...

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I hold my pen like a claw so my writing is pretty crazy. We used to have handwriting lessons where we wrote stuff out of books, but nobody told us ...