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Re: What do you see?
I am going to have to agree with the others. This piece is to much 'telling' and not enough 'showing'. I believe that if you put some work into it ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Let It Go
Thank you. I do think I could have ended it better though. And made it flow easier. Heh, nice, I'm critiquing my own poem.
May 11, 2008 -
Re: Let It Go
I wrote this poem on night when I was thinking about my two friends, Shaun and Sierra, and what they are going through with each other right now. The poem ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: Love...
I thought that the poems flowed well and the rhyming was pretty good. But I do have to agree, they are really short. You said that's 3 poems right? Well, ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: Life
I am going to have to agree. Sometimes poems take time to write, or make shine. Although, I have written my share of poems that have been done in a ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: This is a Suicide Poem
I think you did very well in writing this, but I do have to agree with Gahks. You need to work on your lineation a bit. It made it seem ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: Fog
Hey, good job with this poem. I really liked it. It's short and sweet, and still it has good imagery. Your word choice was quite acceptional as well. I love ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Meanless Words
That's a good poem. I've written something like that to get over a crush too, you're not alone on that one. :D I like the last two lines: Let me ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: The Choice
Confusion in every thought A life put on the line One heart, recently broken. One heart, recently found. A new connection, waiting to happen? Or an old one, waiting to ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Pain
Thanks. I noticed that I made some spelling errors. Accidental. They are right on the paper, I just typed them up wrong and didn't realize it. Woops
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Nightmare
Yeah. I wrote this on a wim and i wasn't really paying a whole lot of attension to editting. This was only my first draft. I'll probably post a second ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: May I Have This Dance
This was very good. It conveys how love can be in some people in a different way than you would normally find. I thought that it was very well written. ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: Pain
broken and shattered ripped apart at the seams torn between life and death lost amongst heaven and hell just a demon as an angel simply good as evil all dark ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: Nightmare
Nightmares burning clearly pictures vivid in sight pain a stab in the heart his face, the color of death his blood, spilled all around him his body, completely motionless his ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: victims
That's actually a pretty good poem. rhyming was done well too. That always seems to be something that I end up having trouble with. Almost all my poems won't rhyme. ...
May 8, 2008
