fading-dream

Amongst the crowd, he shields his face. He walks quickly, yet leaves no trace. His cloak of black hangs past his feet. Blood drips and stains the cold concrete. The ...

Thank you all for your comments. The response was certainly unexpected. If you look now, you will notice the last stanza was cut out (for obvious reasons). I am thinking ...

This didn't work for me. There was absolutely no picture painted in my head. I actually have trouble telling what this is about but that might be just me. The ...

Through the graveyard I walk alone, No one stands by my side. I stop by a crumbling grave, My eyes cry my heart's remains. The love you gave me fades ...

It was alright, though I don't particularity like the changing of the spelling of the name. Maybe it was added for pronunciation but it just didn't fit. I thought the ...

The grave sits awkwardly on this silent hill, Stands tall and proud yet crooked and wrong. No one visits this dead soul, Even the wind keeps its distance. No one ...

I walk through the room of skeletal remains, I watch the man jump, watch him as he hangs. The bell rings true and strong, The shadows grow to show what ...

Hello there! I'll start by saying the same thing the others said: The beginning just isn't working. Once you get to the actual story, it's pretty good. You have set ...

Okay, I got an 86% on this piece. I thought I deserved at least a ninety.... Oh well, she's super harsh.

Thanks for the comments guys. I suppose I was unaware that "Historical Fiction" needed a non-fiction basis (Kind of ironic). If someone could move this into "Fantasy", I would very ...

Thanks for reviewing guys. I have fixed tnme22's errors and will fix the ones that Mars has mentioned (It's saved at school, which I fixed some things so I can't ...

Before you begin reading, I would like to state that this is kind of a sequel to "David" by Earle Birney. I do not like the story, but this was ...

I very much enjoyed this and think that it could go somewhere very new and original... Or very cliched'. I would, however, like to have more detail near the end ...

I believe this story could be told well if there was much more description and emotional detail and if it made actual sense. Okay, I am open to constructive criticism ...

Thanks for the comments guys, I really appreciate it. Now, originally I had planned to leave the story as is, but I can see where the criticisms are coming from. ...