erratik_statik

Jade? Jade, can you hear me? I know you can hear me Jade, I can see the fear billowing like cigarette smoke from your ruby lips. For the cold air ...

what's navel gazing??? and ypu can write emo poetry that is incredibly powerful... a massive majority of poems are emo in the sesne that they are sad or angsty or ...

I can see why you don't like it... lol that sounds bad but its not!! I think you're looking at the rhyme scheme and the flow and you don't see ...

My heart is in a vice whenever I shyly walk with you. My tongue it turns to ice whenever I try and talk with you. I cannot verse, but for ...

yer agreed (call me a purist) i just know from experience that it rarely comes off feeling natural by all means extend your vocab, but not for the purpose of ...

hmm this is good. i liiike :-). A few minor glitches in the flow though... try reading it aloud and you'll see where your missing syllables or you have to ...

From the very moment my eyes fell upon you, alone on sandy beach Your skin as brown as treated wood, your hair as white as bleach You became my one ...

wow. really really good i'm pro-choice and you havn't swayed me which is no doubt your intention.. but I respect the passion with which you believe. The pen is mightier ...

absolutely gorgeous. heartbreaking, beautiful basically i have run out of synonyms lol I won't do much technical stuff because I happen to be useless at formalities :-) ______________________ Why did ...

nice job... simple, lucid and very descriptive... the imagery was nice :-) a couple of things though... Spring Magic White, fluffy clouds are scattered across the piercing blue sky I ...

hey I really like this man.. gold star defs. The words were used sparsely and effectively and gave a real punchy feel; the analogy was really original and the imagery ...

Explosions hide the stars away as the sky is dark and bare. I stand wide-eyed and paralysed by the tension in the air. The wind has choked to nothingness and ...

really good man... idea was great, words were great, imagery was stunning very apocalyptic and such :-)- beautiful rhyme and rhytm was excellent: the flow you generated gave me the ...

i like it... but its hard to read metal lyrics on paper... they always look too over the top without the screams and that this is incredibly slipknot-esque. you a ...

Banned for writing what you want