enjeru

I keep to my human form as I walk through the town towards our meeting spot, a clearing just inside the forest with a small stream bed going through it. ...

very good potential, but there is one thing: show, don't tell. it's pretty self-explanetory. the MC is telling what happened. Why not put them (or someone else) in the action ...

well, i've never seen blood and chocolate, though i want to, but it's a trait i want my character to have. it'll come into play later in the story. but ...

yeah, well, like i said in chapter two...i'm revising already, so i'll keep all that in mind, including the names. I got Asriel because i just asked a random person ...

>.> i reinforce the previous statements. i do like your idea, however. ^_^ but one thing....try and separate your paragraphs....it's just easier to read that way. but, good job!! i ...

too late. already smashed the computer!!! 8) nah, i don't really take these things personally. they help, so i can't. :D but thanks anyway...

um...I haven't been on here all that long, but thanks to all the people who have been and are helping me on my project (Blood Moon)!!! Let it be known ...

sorry. :oops: i didn't realize i had done that. maybe it was just so infused into me...>.> i do love the book!! i'm still trying to fill out her parent's ...

I walk away form the school as if I had a purpose. When I'm sure no one is looking, I dash into a little inlet of forest that runs right ...

This is kinda it might not make sense in some parts. it's about my now-ex-boyfriend. ech. i'm sorry it's so long. that's one thing i need help with... _________________________________________________

ah..poetry wars!! it is a nice concept...but like others have said, you might want to work on it a bit. stretch it out some, it's a bit drab. but cool!! ...

yep. pretty good for a fisrt pice. you have some real talent there!! like the others said, you might want to stretch it out a bit, and showing IS a ...

wow...i like the description. it seems to go a little fast for me, but that just may be me. i also agree with others' statements. i like your style. good ...

*blinks* wow... that was amazing. i love your use of adjectives....extremely original. wow.

So, it’s a normal day at school. Meaning, I’m pissed off and David is trying to talk me out of blowing our cover by ripping my teacher to absolute shreds. ...