empressoftheuniverse

Hey can you review my poem My Father ? Thanks in advance.

I used to think of my dad as A root, a vegetable, clinging to filth with arms strung up to the sun. Something organic and stiff and pure, made from ...

I agree with Legolas, or Veritas. I think that the first two lines of the last stanza should rhyme. Out there in the dark Dancing naked all alone Can I ...

I'm impressed, intruiged, and disturbed all at once. I don't have any critques because I honestly don't know what to think. I laughed at first, thought this was going to ...

Ellipses. I don't know what their purpose is as a punctuation, but I don't appreciate them. Please eliminate them from your poem. stitched dementia that craves me… Here it kind ...

I do kind of see where you are going with this piece, but maybe that's because I literally just watched 1984 and I'm prepared to see everything as a metaphor ...

What do you do when it don't feel same? But Knowing in your heart you can't bear for things to change, just wishing for that love can once again be ...

ripple and scatter. I'm not sure if this is in reference to yourself or the light, or if it's just a general observation. "Nice weather out. Ripple and scatter." If ...

until the flames given to the tears. given= give in? Or did I just not get this line at all? I've seen these shrines: on rock walls, in front of ...

I have nothing particularly novel to add except that I read this and then while I was reading an essay called "Against Joie de Vivre" I came across this paragraph: ...

This is a story I have been coming back to randomly since I first wrote it when I was 7 and I'm now 12 so I really hope you like ...

That was a really beautiful poem that captured all the solemnity of the cathedral and all the ritual of the religion. I am catholic but I've never actually been in ...

I really have nothing particularly constructive to add; I was just overjoyed when I understood what the subject of the poem was. I would like comment that I didn't realize ...

I'm a little confused about all oi this. First, there's the two disclaimer-notes. I guess they're just there to tell us about the poem, but they made me a little ...

I agree wholeheartedly with Tori; beautiful imagery alone does not make a poem. But you have more than that-- you have imagery describing an emotion, and you have a character, ...