emotion_less

Two questions: a) Do you know what homecoming game is for a high school? b) Do you/did you have a homecoming dance/homecoming game at your high school? All responses are ...

I think you have your idea down. However, I think the points you try to get across to the reader are muddled. Some of this, I think, was due to ...

“Old McDonald had a farm, E I E I O,” we sang in unison as Ms. Bernum, our music teacher, clanked away on the piano. “And… on his farm he ...

I'm not entirely fond of haikus, but I'll try to help. Wonderful blue sky, 'Wonderful' is a little abstract. Maybe try portraying the blue sky as wonderful instead of outright ...

You always have pretty poems xanthan gum. =) sugar tears - they taste so sweet when melted on teeth I'm not completely sure about this part. It sounded really nice ...

I liked this. I liked the descriptions and (for lack of better way to put it) comemnts you had in here, especially these: the popsicle juice spilling down your chin, ...

Just some comments I noted while I was reading: Everything but him seemed so cheerful and joyous, lit up like the rainbow of Christmas lights... I just wanted to say ...

hehe Exams... aren't they fun? I noticed that you used a lot of adverbs, especially here: Eyes droop wearily, And I squint tiredly, at The tiny words of unfathomable text, ...

Keep in mind that this subject has been done and re-done many times. Try avoiding cliches, especially in these types of poems. "Crimson tears" is a big cliche in this, ...

Maybe try getting your message off clearly in the first couple of lines will make it understandable to the reader. It seems well put together, but the core doesn't really ...

It's a cool concept that you have here. One I often think about too, what with all these modern teenage "rebels" around now. There were some things that could be ...

For Snoink:

Congrats, Gal, to you and your brother and his wife! And to add to the list of newborns, a couple I know just had their baby a little over a ...

Hey! Welcome to the site. Don't worry- people will review. It takes about a day (sometimes less, sometimes more, depends on timing) to get a review. But I'll read it, ...

It's not that I hate rhyme, it's just that your rhyme, as others said, isn't consistent. Also, you rhythm is very odd in the second stanza. Try to make if ...