emotion_less

Work on grammar and spelling. Also, try to describe a little more; this was pretty rushed because of that. Honestly, it was kind of dull. Try to spice it up ...

I don't think I've ever read your stuff before... weird... I definitely would have remembered the style... Not to be a little kid or anything, but this is really good. ...

Right... this needs a lot of work. Title needs a change, plot needs to make sense, details need to be added... I wrote this for school ['creative' writing for composition] ...

I thought it was a little rushed, but I really liked it. Nitmerrin, as a character, annoys me, but that's just because of the way you had him be. It's ...

You definitely need to work on grammar and spelling. Putting sentences into structured paragraphs would help a lot, too. Hi my name is Feefee AKA Boo yes it is a ...

The hole in their soul. This made me giggle... I liked the first stanza and the last lines, but the stuff in between could use some work. Like Snoink said, ...

I liked the ending as well. Made you go 'aww.' Where a giant piece Of aluminum lies. I thought that you would talk about the aluminum again, but you didn't. ...

Just some nitpicks: Cliff Johnston, where are you? How am I supposed to feel? Were you my best friend? What am I supposed to believe? This was the repeating stanza, ...

:D That made me laugh, sort of. I liked it. By no means am I an animal's rights activist and I have no intention of being one anyday. So horse ...

There were some spelling/grammar errors and such... and yeah... She wants to leave him, She closes her eyes, she pretends. At some points, the rhythm is awkward, like here. The ...

A forboding aura hovers around the darkened forest Wouldn't it be 'forbading'? A chill runs up my spine, as mournful cry is heard from within the forest... The second clause ...

I thought this was really interesting. You should definitely continue... The only part I started to have a problem with was the whole Eddie/King thing. Maybe I just misread something ...

Gal's lovely as usual. And Qi, nice stance. You look focused :)

Well, I never disagreed with you Qi. I know self-defense isn't all just one-sided and incredibly easy. I said that it would be better to focus on defense more than ...

Another thing that highschools shoud be required to offer would be classes dealing with all of the psychological turmoil that many highschoolers go through. It could be a place to ...