emotion_less

I don't exactly see what the tied chair has to do with the poem... At first, I thought it was talking about the cruelty of 'you', but then, it seems ...

I didn't find the rhyme really awkward, but I felt like the whole last stanza was an attempt to try to stay rhyming while stick with a meaning. It kind ...

for miles, there's nothing truly clear, and there's no judgement targeting you. here, only whispers survive long. middle platform is one step down, but the wished-for journey extends. hope that ...

Considering my expertise in art... Good job on improvement...? Seriously, I think it was never bad in the first place... But I know nothing about art, so...

I liked the beginning of the poem, but the rest of it kind of confuses me. Some of the lines and phrases seemed kind of empty, or maybe I just ...

I think you should develop this a lot more. I mean, it could go on to discuss some other things, but it just... ends. There's really not much that can ...

haha I liked it. An interesting take on the whole future-looking-back thing. My only suggestion is to fix some of the spelling typos [little things, like a miss 's' or ...

Thanks for all the comments. I know it's a bit confusing right now, but it's just my first draft so... yeah. JigSaw: The 'He was always petrified to return' sentence ...

**Just started this... Kind of rambled after the first few paragraphs... But I would like feedback/comments/critique. Thanks.** Luke closed his eyes. Body resting upon his neatly made bed, he tried ...

There were some parts I really did not like, but for the most part, I liked it. Most of the parts I didn't like were forced-to-rhyme lines that didn't seem ...

First, work on adding punctuations/separating sentences so that the story is able to be read more easily. Examples: A fleeting memory had crossed the netherregions of her mind ; she ...

The poem's based on a lot of confusing questions- you're confused and the reader is also confused. I suggest you take out some things that don't seem to fit or ...

Firstly, welcome to YWS! I'm not much of a poet either, but I'll give you my thoughts, like it or not :). The rhythm for the poem is really choppy ...

The only thing I had a problem with was this line: So, I rewrite my thoughts, It doesn't seem to flow with the rest of the poem. I liked it ...

I liked the prologue's intensity and the first chapter's start is pretty good. The first chapter was a little awkward, though. It's not that there's too much information as much ...