emmily

Let Me Love You Chapter One All had been quiet in Isabella’s life, maybe that was because she was in a coma. (These two sections don't quite make one sentence ...

After so many months, the evening walk was an everyday routine, an invariably wander in the streets of the neighborhood and nearby parks. The custom traces itineraries. Thus, although one ...

Section Two: (starting at Chapter Five) -describing the scene at the pool, it should be 'abs' not 'ads'. -There's a few tabs and line breaks in strange places in this ...

computer is still saying that the file is too large, but I can read it on the My Documents preview screen so I'll be able to give you overall feedback ...

I've marked some spots within the document and make comments there but I also wanted to give you a basic summary of what I thought: -The plot is a nice ...

I'd be glad to look at this for you, but my computer is refusing to open it because the file is too large. Is there any way you could send ...

I'm new on here but I've been writing since I was in second grade. I read very quickly which means that I will be able to read a piece and ...

...Or maybe sooner. I guess the fact that I gave in and read the second part so quickly is a pretty valid sign that this must be a good story. ...

Interesting start to the story. Your use of scene and detail to establish the characters attitudes and personalites was well done. A lot of people do too much summarizing when ...

Prelude Blailey let out a yawn and prodded at the fire (prodded sounds a little odd her--maybe poked would work better and you could take out the last three words ...

The Rose in the Snow The night seemed to mock her. The moon shone contentedly as the snow glided gently down to the sidewalk. Couples strode down the street, hand ...

As she stepped out the window, Rachel entered a new world. Spring turned to fall, and (don't need the comma here) the green grass was covered by crackly, brown dead ...

CHAPTER THREE Somehow, even though Kaida had just met her classmates a few days before, she felt safe here. She had even been able to fall into a deep sleep ...

I watched as the guards ran about. They all seemed to be doing something, whether barring the doors, swinging the curtains down, or calling My Lady and My Lord. The ...

Interesting beginning. I'd like to know more about the main character fairly early: description, some hint at personality and so on. I'm not even certain if this character is male ...