ellisjay

Thanks, I really should have included some more - overall - details. Alex and Cassie are indeed our main characters, and viewpoints switch from story to story. Completely and insanely ...

I wanna to know the threat/what's at stake. You lost me quiet early.

You need more character building. Counting the bricks is great. Take some time to examine your character a little more and work out how his occupation and personality can conflict ...

Not sure what the other's wrote, so I may be doubling up. You're writing in a first person omniscient ? First person doesn't know it will be the most adventurous ...

First Draft, Target Audience 12+ INTRODUCTION: The ghost in Tana’s pub was a town legend. The wooden, Victorian style building stood tall and proud amongst the streets of Burnham, a ...

Thanks for the, since people have asked, I've added the previous section of this scene. *Still not the full Chapter *

The first pages of your story need questions. Questions that readers will turn pages for to find answers. We have a character on her way to Darwin (Nice to see ...

My first suggestion would be to re-write this prologue. It is interesting but I think that experimenting with the structure of bits of information, you could find a much smoother ...

If this is your first chapter, don't tell us about your world. Show us. I'd suggest, take this detailed information and work it into an exciting scene. In late, out ...

Thanks. Just to be clear this is the last section of Chapter One. There is a lot more before this scene, plus an introduction.

** Updated ** Hey, thought I'd make a post on the YA Novel I'm working on. Currently working through a second draft, started writing it about 10 months ago while ...