elijah1

Hello, I'm going to critique this for you. Indecisively, he fiddled with the cigarette before finally flicking it into the fire. 'Fire' is used to light a cigarette, so to ...

Hello. I just stumbled upon your story, and I'm surprised to find that no one has commented on this part of it. I'll critique this for you. Kydia’s oval and ...

Hello, I'm going to critique your piece today. Derek did not know why, but he knew this was the right thing to do, as if to justify this thought an ...

FACELESS Is that her? You crouch down behind bushes, behind bramble, behind undergrowth. Tall, thin, gangly trees stretch up from the forest floor. Wind whispers through the tree branches. Clouds ...

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I'm just going to critique the very beginning of this piece. It was a normal day in the forest Try beginning with a sentence that hints at change, since change ...

Ah, I like dreams. I have only two suggestions for this piece. Don't explain the dream at the beginning. The piece has more meaning if you leave it for us, ...

Note to the Reader: The following vignette is based on a very tiny scene from Romeo and Juliet . This work is entirely original, with the exception of the dialogue ...

Hmm... this chapter was interesting. My biggest suggestion is: avoid summarizing. Avoid using flashback in this chapter, because, in my opinion, it's more intriguing and mysterious if you don't tell ...

Excellent. Most excellent. How else could I describe this? I like how you show what Nicholas is thinking. I have just one suggestion. You see, as a reader, I like ...

And then I read a beginning that grips my attention... The first sentence is excellent; it hints at change without revealing everything. It makes me want to know more. Well ...

Interesting concept. Quite intriguing, actually. For suggestions, I'd say try expanding this idea. What if this character entered politics... How did this character get his ability? Can normal people