elijah1

Hello again. I'm here with your critique. it was everyone who knew the forests, favourite tree. What is this sentence saying? I'm a little confused. the branch underneath him snapped?” ...

Hello, and welcome to YWS. If you need anything, just PM me. You asked for a critique, so here I am. shouted the General. she replied bellowed the General he ...

Ah, hello. I'm addicted to writing horror stories, by the way. Sometimes she could hear... Sometimes? In my humble opinion, stories should tell what happens as it happens. Readers like ...

Ah, thanks for the reviews. the way you wrote things over again also made it a little confusing Darn. With this piece, I was trying to write in both first ...

Ah, excellent. I love the writing style. However, it still needs some work. She’s in custody, your wife. You go from talking about 'your son' to 'she's in custody.' For ...

PRESERVED A severed head, sitting in a jar. The laboratory is dim. Where am I? The eyes shift in their eye sockets. The head tilts in the jar. A strand ...

POLITICS Light came in through the apartment window. A fly crawled across the windowsill. An elderly man, dressed in a suit and tie, stood cleaning his pistol. With a rag ...

Hello. I admire this, assuming that English is your second language. Splash of water falling to the pool of a waterfall, This isn't a complete thought. In my mind, you ...

Hello Conrad. By the way, thanks for helping with my history homework about a month ago. (At least, I think it was you who helped me.) As for my critique: ...

If no one else comments, I won't bother posting part 2

Ah, part 2! at what he knew was going to come out of his mouth, whether or not he really wanted it to. Wait... what? Whether or not I really ...

Hello. I'm just going to get straight to the critique: Under typical circumstances, a teen who misspells their name would not get into much trouble. Perhaps chided lightly by their ...

For any other reviewers, any thoughts as to what might happen next? I get the thoughts that maybe we’re about to have a crisis. This is helpful to know. ----- ...

MECHANICAL GHOSTS, PART 1 ********* Fredrect ********* He shut the door. The room became darkness. He gasped, breathing in, breathing out. He leaned forward, and felt the smooth door against ...

A nice piece. That being said, here's my critique: There was fire in the heavens. How about: 'Fire was in the heavens.' Avoid using 'There was' and 'There were' to ...