elephantwalrus

I think this is a well structured paragraph, but I don't think it will fit very well into a story. It's a good glimpse of a thought that you've had, ...

The Sundress She departed from the building with her head held high, Grinning sheepishly to try to mask her pride In a white and strappy sundress she had worn not ...

I actually like the poetic license that you took in this poem. The line breaks, the lack of quotations...they seemed to have a purpose, and they didn't appear to be ...

Wow, this is a really thoughtful poem! I enjoyed it a lot. It flowed nicely, and each word has a purpose in the poem; the compactness of this thought is ...

This was a nice poem. The image was powerful, though the theme is a bit vague. Now, to the nit-picky stuff! And at the Cliffs we met Wind and Cold ...

This is the prologue to the book I'm writing this summer. Sorry if it's a bit rough. Enjoy!!! The packet came for a Mr. John Luis one quiet Kansas morning ...

What an emotional piece! It is clear that you put a lot of thought into this. Now, on to the critique! This is really historical fiction, even though the history ...

This is really interesting! It's mysterious...I can't wait to find out what happens next! The biggest problem that I see with this piece is that you do a lot of ...

Overall, I agree with what has already been said, but I do have a couple things to add: 1. The rhythm of the poem seemed non-existent. The lack of flow ...

This is very nice! The rhyme is smooth, which is always good, and it makes for a polished poem. My only suggestion would be to possibly make each line longer; ...

Thanks for the critiques, guys! As for the bonus points, kris was correct with the "Romeo and Juliet" allusion. The two lines, “Oh then, dear saint, let lips do what ...

Wow, thanks for all the critiques and support, guys! I really appreciate it. I have plans for the next few installments in the series, so keep your eyes peeled for ...

Bonus points for whoever names what literary allusion appears in this piece! :) The Pilgrim's Prayer If his speech had a name, It would be Soothing. Even though I need ...

This is a nice poem! It has really nice themes. The biggest distraction in this poem is that the rhythm isn't always constant. Read through it out loud, and you'll ...

I agree with Eimear; there's a lot to say =). 1. The biggest problem I see in this piece is that all of the rhymes are forced. You have some ...