elephantwalrus

Sapphire covered all the bases in her review, and I agree with what she said. My biggest suggestion would be watch your words; sometimes you use surreal words (ex: glaze, ...

Hello! First off, I'd like to say that you have nice diction and nice imagery in this poem. I think this is the first time I've ever had to say ...

For the most part, I agree with the people who have posted before me. I wanted to compliment you on your rhyme; it sets a good tone, and it doesn't ...

Exodus We have not deserted our bloodied, beloved city. The gods have deserted us, The repeat of "deserted" is no good. Use word variety; it will make the poem more ...

Whisperer: to answer your question, it did not happen in real life :) . These characters are completely fictional, and the events are as well. I do use some of ...

I had to turn this in for a grade in English, and it had to be in strict meter, rhyme, and contain several metaphors, similies, and ellisions. I chose to ...

When I first read this poem, I didn't think it was about a relationship; I thought it was about smoking :) . Obviously, I was wrong. I guess the line ...

Verse 1: I have your picture on my shelf In a fairly simple frame, To not obscure your handsome face, And your letters are on my desk, And I know ...

My biggest problem with this song is that it doesn't have a clear theme. Usually the chorus best embodies the theme of the song, but in your case, the chorus ...

This is pretty good! My only suggestion would be to watch the forced rhymes (ie: tide?). I can hear that it fits a melody, though. Good job! Sorry that I'm ...

Wow...I'm going to be Captain Obvious: this is a sad story :( . I loved it, though. It was captivating, and your story telling skills are awesome. My only suggestion: ...

This is wonderful! I love the chilling voice of the narrator, the simple horror of his mission, and the ample amount of mystery that the reader is left with. You ...

The main problem with this plot (and it happens in a lot in romance fiction) is that the plot is cliche. Sometimes a writer can deal with cliche, just to ...

Here it is: part two. I think it makes decent sense even if you didn't read the first one...I can't figure out how to add a link to the first ...

Don't worry about it! Pilgrim's Progress was a good guess. I just use a lot of Shakespeare allusions in my work because all of my English teachers love him. My ...